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Extreme Sports


PAUL MARRIOTT

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Two Irish men walk into a pet shop.

Right away they go over to the bird section.

Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem!"

The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage dere," says Gerry, "Put

dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and

leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up

in the hills andstop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks

loike a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies

Paddy. They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first,

eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them

on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops

off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'.

As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock

dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too fockin' dangerous for me"

 

======= PART TWO =======

A minute later, Seamus arrives.

He too has been to the pet shop and he, walks up carrying the familiar

peeper bag. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that,

in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun. "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus

says and lunches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half

way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus

continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at

the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' "oim never troyin' dat

parrotshooting nider"

 

======- PART THREE =======

A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up.

He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar

'peeper bag'. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and

launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes

his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den

Seamus parrot shooting and now you... fockin' hen gliding".

 

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