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Medical Records.....


Steve-B

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Medical records not quite entered correctly at a hostpital.

 

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband

states she was very hot in bed last night.

 

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for

over a year.

 

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third

day it disappeared.

 

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also

appears to be depressed.

 

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me

in 1993.

 

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

 

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally

alert but forgetful.

 

8. The patient refused autopsy.

 

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably

insignificant with B only a 40 pound weight gain in the past

three days.

 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for

lunch.

 

13. She is numb from her toes down.

 

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

15. The skin was moist and dry.

 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of

her life, until she got a divorce.

 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car

for physical therapy.

 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and

accommodation.

 

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus

sized.

 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

 

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

 

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

 

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other

abnormalities.

 

 

Steve B

Big Black Beast^3 Lighten up everybody....NOW

USA 2005: How the West Was Driven

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