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Santa's Mending Engines Tonight!


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For the last three years I've been asked to play Santa Claus at the local junior school, handing out presents to the kids in the grotto. The only complication being that two of the kids were my own so I had to manage to pull the wool over their eyes. The first two years I know I got away with it. Sitting having a chat with your own daughter in a deep voice through a cotton wool beard when she doesn't have a clue that you are anything other than Santa is quite unsettling. The last year there was a flicker of recognition. I could see it in their eyes, they had noticed that there was something familiar about Santa but nothing was said (I was apparently at work when Santa came) and so I seemed to have got away with it, but I decided it was my last year ...

Not a word.

Then this morning, EIGHT MONTHS LATER, on summer holiday in Whitby randomly and out of the blue my nine year old daughter came in to see me at 8:00, snuggled up to me under the duvet and whispered "Good morning Santa!".

I tried not to respond but the two of them have been slowly winding it up all day with more and more obvious comments.

It culminated tonight in a 90 minute drive over the moors with the two of them singing their heads off in the back of the car (when they could manage to sing between bouts of hysterical laughter) (to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming Tonight) "Santa's Mending Engines Tonight", with such immortal lines as "He's making a list, checking it twice, of all the engine parts he needs to buy" and "He knows when you need help, cos he's always on BlatChat"!

EIGHT MONTHS they've been sitting on that! Little buggers.

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