Cooperisms

[KevSull Too]

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".

[KevSull Too]

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been ontelly but I'm no Dean Martin".

[KevSull Too]

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

[KevSull Too]

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.

[Harry Flatters]

Man walks into a bar - Ooh - it was an iron bar!!

 

I knocked on the door of this guesthouse, a woman came to the window and called out "what do you want?" - I said "I want to stay here" - she said "well stay there" and closed the window

 

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AKA Steve Mell id=green>

[KevSull Too]

So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Weggie Kray.