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A bit of Maths


LL_female

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't

need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a

husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a

wife.

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his

wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot

and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and

not try to understand her at all.

 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married

men are a lot more willing to die.

 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he

doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,

and she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a

man says after that is the beginning of a new

argument.

 

 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING

MARRIED: Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,

poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,

"You're next." They stopped after I started doing the

same thing to them at funerals.

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